Four days and counting...

And Jay swears that he's going to come all next week. I made a bet with him: if he actually shows up all this week and next, I'll come to school in the kids' uniform. If he misses any school, he has to come back to school in uniform. He wanted to bet money, but since he probably has more than me I decided against it.

This kid has kind of taken over all my mental energy for the week. It's taking me a while to figure out what level of comfort I have with him in my classroom, and around my other kids, (or not, not sure yet which is more uncomfortable for me) or whatever. I'm at least not afraid of him now, which I was for a little bit, but if this makes sense I sort of feel prepared to be scared of him, and that preparation is tiring. He walked in today with a new tattoo on his arm that says "North Philly" in graffiti letters. He got it, I'm convinced, because his buddy (a smaller version of him with the same name) basically has sleeves- and that's just on the parts of him I see. It's not even just the fear thing, it's just the awkwardness of the fact that he shows up to my class and nowhere else. Today I went looking for him ninth period; nowhere to be found (he didn't know I was coming for him that period). Yet he sat in my room for three straight periods and even actually followed probably 70% of my instructions. (If you're at all familiar with behavioral modification, for him to in one week suddenly develop perfect attendance from nothing and follow 70% teacher instructions is... well, kind of amazing) So the question is logically, why? And really the only answer that makes much sense is that he probably has a crush on me. Which, usually, is cute, given that most of my students are 11-12 and the crush is very undefined sexually if it's even sexual at all (and I don't think it actually is, often. A lot of times it almost feels more of a mom-love type of thing. C, my sweetheart who moved to Florida, carved my name with a heart around it and an arrow going through it into his desk the day he left. But he also called me "Mom" by accident on a regular basis) . But this kid is 14 and looks grown, and I have a feeling probably thinks grown thoughts, and that is just really uncomfortable all around. One of the girls from my class asked to take her test in my room, because it was a little quieter than our classroom, and I let her once, but then realized that both Jay and Sidekick were looking at her like she was a candy bar, and have asked her in the most delicate way I know how multiple times to please, whatever her social life, not do anything with these particular boys. Every time she looks at me like I'm crazy.

"Miss, you kidding? They ugly!"

I honestly haven't gotten that vibe off of Jay toward me. But I can't figure out why else he would actually choose to suddenly start showing up to school and coming to my class and even occasionally doing some work.

Other stuff has been happening I wanted to write about (union meeting, my other kids...) but I need to go to bed soon. Last story:

I highly suspect one of my resource kids of being flamingly gay. So do most of the other kids, actually, although I don't think he knows it about himself yet. He's also just a total cutie and very sweet kid; Ms. Sel calls him her angel. So I had him, one of my resource girls who reminds me very much of my own group of friends in middle school/high school, and Cyrus in the room at one point. The girl was telling us about her family and her boyfriend, and Angel pops up about how he wants to have kids when he's sixteen or eighteen. Conversation stops.

"Well, cause, see, I heard the oceans are going to get bigger and Puerto Rico's going to disappear, and I want to go back before it sinks because of global warming and have babies so my babies can be 100% Puerto Rican."
The girl looked at him.
"Where were you born?"
"Philadelphia."
"So your babies wouldn't be 100% Puerto Rican..."
Somehow this flaw in his plan hadn't occurred to him yet. Cyrus chimed in about how he, also, wanted to have children that early, prompting a warning from me about his butt getting kicked if he tried to have kids before graduating from college (a kicking which I would able to do as he would no longer be my student).

"What Miss, you don't have kids yet?" Angel asked.
"Naw, she doesn't have kids. She's in love with this guy, and he's Jamaican and has dreads and stuff, but he lives far away and she's afraid to go up and talk to him about it but she should cause they would get married and have babies cause she's old enough now," Cyrus answered before I could open my mouth, without any pauses. I started laughing. Cyrus can take the tiniest piece of information and twist it into several whole new plotlines... He could be a great screenwriter one day for something like Grey's Anatomy (sorry just watched this week's episode... it's still on the brain). I wasn't sure how he got that whole story, but Angel loved it.

"Oh, Miss, you shouldn't be scared to go up to him! You should just, like, get braids, put on some tight jeans or a little skirt and a cute little shirt, maybe some boots, ghetto it up a little, and go up to him and be like, 'Haaa-aay baaaby.....!' And then he would want to marry you and have babies!"

Now, why didn't I think of that?