some high(and low-)lights of this week (mostly from the 8th grade)

1. finding out that Big Jay is actually 13, not 14, while writing his IEP. Not that this should make a difference, but somehow, the fact that he's got such a long criminal record already, is having sex and selling drugs just seems significantly worse somehow now that I know he's 13. Also, he tested damn near on grade level in math without having been awake through a math class or through the entirety of one in about two years. which means... special ed, not so much.

2. going to BJ's house after he and LJ cut out of school because LJ got in trouble for printing out pictures of guns in order to get BJ to finish taking his frigging IEP tests and completely and utterly wasting an hour of my life there as he completely refused to do anything and got so upset I actually came over that he tried to take his bike out to ride away (luckily it had a flat tire). This was a problem as he's under house arrest. I was kind of afraid he'd get locked up again before school this week. Luckily not.

3. being grilled by BJ's and LJ's friends today on my love life. LJ decided I looked like the type who dated women and men, and wanted me to tell them if I swung both ways. They spent the next half hour trying to get me to tell them something about my love (or more accurately, sex) life. BJ stayed out of it, and even sort of had my back.

"Yo, man, she's just going to say no to anything you say. Stop asking her."

I like him more every day. Except when I was at his house and he was a huge pain in the ass. But it definitely had some kind of effect. He told all of his friends about it, repeatedly. LJ wanted to know why I didn't come to his house. I told him if I hadn't found BJ at his own house, I would've checked his next. I actually had his address when I went over, considering it, but I didn't add that in general I'm more comfortable with BJ because he gets mad when I make an effort to check up on him (although I think he does appreciate it in the end) rather than tries to flirt... LJ probably would've asked me to sleep over (echoes of R's brother from last year... "You can borrow my t-shirt!"). They were all shocked I was able to find out where they lived. I guess none of them knew the school has their info on the computer system. This conversation immediately followed BJ telling them about how I drove over to his house and then a conversation about my car, with jokes about how they steal cars. They wouldn't, actually-- they like me, and among other reasons, my car is older and more beat up then the ones they get other ways, and I'm sure they know they would be prime suspects if anything ever did happen to my car. But still... not the most reassuring conversation.

So as LJ kept trying for the personal information...

"Boys, I'm sorry, that's just too personal. I can't talk about that with you."
"Yes you can! You know us, we're sharing, we're a group here. We wouldn't tell anyone, you know us better than that!"
"No I don't! You were just joking about stealing my car!"
"Oh, yeah..." they started laughing. "Whoops. You know we wouldn't do that, Miss."

5. wasting a full period on possibly the stupidest sixth grade drama EVER between one of my girls and three girls in another class, one of whom is dating one of the boys in my class. Making it worse, BJ, LJ, and one of their friends (who decided to help me grade papers during my prep... random...) walked in while I was in the room I use for resource trying to mediate so there wasn't a full on fight after school tomorrow, which is what was about to happen, and decided to watch. It was like trying to mediate a Jerry Springer show with interactive audience members. My sixth grade girls, particularly these ones, are very young for their ages, but they have a lot of attitude. They don't curse in front of me, and these particular ones are very careful about being respectful, but they have mouths like no others... not helped by the commentary from the boys.

"So then Ms. A, in gym, she called me a B! And she said she was going to, you know, f me up!"

"What's a B?"
"What's 'f' stand for? Freedom? She's going to free you?"
"Yo, that sixth grader's got some Eddie Murphy hair!"

I've had more productive conversations.

4. BJ and LJ's friend (not the one who helped me grade, a different one- in all today I had BJ, LJ, two of their friends whose names rhyme, and this last one wandering into my room to hang out. It's kind of a weird situation. They're probably cutting, but they're at least with a teacher when they're with me and occasionally doing something school related or at least having life lesson conversations when I can get their minds off sex or drugs. And they're not in the hallway or selling drugs in the bathroom. I like them, I don't mind, although it's kind of a pain when I'm trying to work with other students) in response to my refusing to answer questions. When they discovered I would just say no to everything, it became a game. You just can't win sometimes...
"Are you married? Do you have a boyfriend? Do you like men? Are you straight?"
You get the idea. The clincher:

"Do you like younger men? If I were older, I'd bang you."

I actually slipped up and cursed. "I don't ever want to hear that s*** coming out of your mouth again."

He feigned shock. I told Ms. Lez about it later, who's very close to that whole group of boys, and she had him come up later and apologize. He was obviously actually really embarrassed about it. That's way further than even LJ would take it. And he's actually a cousin to a girl in L's class that the other boys were pretty crudely talking about taking advantage of, and got upset about it. That made me forgive him and even like him a little more. Still think I've had my share of eighth grade for the week...